IC Inbox

[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

Comments

[codere]

I'm an adult. [ Mostly. ]

Isn't Saber young? She looks like she can't be any older than thirteen.

[swordboning]

Like I said, I don't know her age. I do know that she is older than she looks. That's probably due to Avalon but I can't be certain.

[codere]

Avalon? [ Winning the best Master award here. ]

Is that one of her Noble Phantasms?

[swordboning]

Yes.

...don't tell me that idiot hasn't told you about it because she doesn't have it.

[codere]

Wha-? [ There's clearly one thing wrong with all of this. ]

You made me enter a pact with a nerfed Servant? What's wrong with you?

[swordboning]

...this is golden. If you ask her about it and she doesn't know where it is.....

Let's just say I might be able to tell her how to get it. [Shaking his head and shrugging.] But it's going to cost her.

[codere]

How do you know where it is, but she doesn't?

[ Suddenly suspicious. ] Archer, did you steal Avalon from her? You're such a dick.

[swordboning]

I have no use for it. Besides, it's only useful for people who aren't Saber if they're in her presence. Which I'd rather not be. But I do know where it is.

[codere]

So where is it? We'll need to reclaim it since it properly belongs to Saber which means it properly belongs to me.

[ They don't even need Avalon, but she's selfish. This shouldn't come as a surprise. ]

[swordboning]

You already know I'd like something in return.

[Though if Rin is putting it like that, he's at a distinct disadvantage.]

[codere]

... sex?

[ She already knows that's not the answer. ]

[swordboning]

No. I'd rather it be something from Saber anyway.

[codere]

... sex with Saber?

[ He's a guy, this is somewhat a logical way of thinking. ]

[swordboning]

No.

[He could say 'been there done that' but heyooooooooooooooo]

[codere]

[ Do that and deal with Rin poking around even more. Does he really want that? ]

Sex from someone in the Pleasure District? [ Why. ]

[swordboning]

I don't want sex at all.

How about something like...hm. Saber has to dress up like me for a day and be a mascot for the food stall with you?

[codere]

Is this your idea of a family outing? It seems kind of demeaning for someone like her...

[ Plus it isn't really her decision so what can she say? ] Do I really get to be a mascot?

[swordboning]

I'm already working on making armor for you so yes.

So if you promise to make her do it for just one day, I'll tell you exactly where to find her most powerful Noble Phantasm.

[codere]

If I make her do it for a week, will you bring her Noble Phantasm back for us?

[ She doesn't want to do any work. ]

[swordboning]

I can't. But I promise once you have the cooperation of a certain someone, you'll be able to get it easily.

[codere]

Great, I'd have to include someone else.

[ Dropping her face into his shoulder. ] I don't care to talk about it anymore. You're okay with everything, right?

[swordboning]

[A sigh.]

Shirou Emiya has it. He probably doesn't know it but he does. We can leave it at that.

[codere]

[ Opening her mouth.
Closing her mouth. ]

[swordboning]

Didn't you say we were done with this conversation?

[codere]

Do you want to go to sleep? [ Resting against him. ]

You sure you can't fit under the bed? It was kind of comfy under there.