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[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

Comments

[swordboning]

[Archer can't decide whether to shut this down, find Merlin, and show him what for...

...or make things worse.]

That's something better discussed in person rather than through text.

[Make things worse.]

[psycholawgy]

Why can't we just talk about it here?

[swordboning]

Because you won't understand the gravity of the situation.

[psycholawgy]

Alright, fine.

Where do we meet ?

[swordboning]

I can shut down my food stall for a short while.

[psycholawgy]

[ athena doesn't even reply, but dashes to golden archers fairly quickly. she shows up about 15 mins later. ]

Archer.

[swordboning]

Athena.

[Yes, what a poop lord.]

[psycholawgy]

So...

[ THIS IS WHY SHE WANTED TO TALK THROUGH TEXT. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. ]

[swordboning]

So...

[TAKING A SEAT. And this is why he wanted to do it in person.]

...you wanted to learn how to please a guy. In bed.

[psycholawgy]

You don't have to repeat it!

[ TOTALLY RED NOW... THANKS. ]

So help me out here!

[swordboning]

I will but you're going to have to tell me specifically what you want.

[psycholawgy]

Wha- What?! I don't get it.

[ she honestly doesn't... ]

[swordboning]

What don't you get? It's pretty simple.

[He almost wants to laugh.]

Describe things for me how you see it.

[psycholawgy]

What do you mean?!

I just want to know...!

[swordboning]

If I start from the beginning, it'll take too long. You'll have to tell me what you already know.

[psycholawgy]

[ deep breaths... ]

Not a lot. But— I tried— [ a low groan. ] We've only gotten to second base, so... that's all I know? I mean— I know about. . . third base and everything else. . .

[ ARCHER WHY ]

[swordboning]

Do you? Or are you unaware of even the basics?

[psycholawgy]

............................. Tell me.

[swordboning]

[Sorry, he can barely hold back a single snort.]

[psycholawgy]

ARCHER!

[swordboning]

What? There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

[psycholawgy]

Then don't laugh!

[swordboning]

I'm only laughing because you don't understand how senseless this is.

[psycholawgy]

How is it senseless?! I just want to— do better...

[swordboning]

How can you do better if you haven't even set a baseline? I'm not going to prepare you for your first time. Stumbling around at it is how it's supposed to work.