IC Inbox

[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

Comments

[codere]

[ What if she just latches onto him instead like a koala?? There's no tossing her when she's like this right?? ]

You're absolutely incorrigible!

[swordboning]

That's a very mature answer.

[Tugging at her quite uselessly. Absolutely terrible.]

[codere]

You're the one who is trying to throw me around as if I'm a rag doll. [ Digging her nails in to ensure she's got a good grip. ]

I'm hungry by the way. Do we still have those fries from two days ago?

[swordboning]

With the way you flop around, I have no choice but to treat you like one. [This is pointless....]

No. But if you insist on having junk, we may as well go out to eat because I refuse to make it.

[codere]

[ He could just let her flop around!! ]

Ohhh are you asking me out on a date?

[swordboning]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.

[His voice is kind of dripping with sarcasm.]

[codere]

This is a shitty way to ask someone out on a date. [ She would know what with her experience with dating and all that. ]

[swordboning]

I know. Which is why I was being entirely sarcastic.

[codere]

You're only saying that because I rejected you and now you have to save face.

[ Still clinging to him. ] So that's a no on the fries?

[swordboning]

[Carefully...sitting down.]

After that poor choice of comments from you, I think you don't need to eat at all.

[codere]

Are you refusing to feed me now? [ Loosening her grip a little now that they're closer to the ground. ]

I'm already malnourished. I'll die at this rate.

[swordboning]

No. We're simply staying here until you learn to act your age.

[Whatever age that is. Which is an age that doesn't make dumb jokes about dates.]

[codere]

My age?

What are you implying with something like that, Archer? [ It's enough for her to release her grip on him, plopping fully to the floor. ]

[swordboning]

I'm implying that you're acting somewhere between 5 and 12 years old and no more.

That is a good example.

[The plopping on the floor thing.]

[codere]

Aren't the Japanese always close to the floor? Sitting on their knees for their meals and sleeping on mats? You act as if it's a crime for me to lay around.

[ She's also a rude shit. ] I don't actually remember how old I am. It must be a side effect of being uploaded to the Moon Cell.

[swordboning]

Don't hide behind either of those as an excuse. You know full well that you're an adult so you should act like one.

[codere]

[ Sitting up a bit, she rocks in place as she considers how to answer him. ]

Hm, I know that. When the time comes where I have to act an adult, I will. Until then, what's the problem with me taking it easy?

[swordboning]

You don't have a job. You don't earn money. You don't do any chores. Do you see my problem here with you taking it easy?

[codere]

Oh, that's because you seemed too eager to do all the work yourself so I thought why should I ruin your fun?

[ She stops rocking, leaning in closer towards him. ] Are you afraid your Master is a useless loach?

[swordboning]

[Not phased!]

I should have expected it but, even then, not on this level. Name one positive thing you've done since you've been here.

[codere]

I'm responsible for you and Emiya's little peace treaty, aren't I? Don't think I'm not aware of it.

[swordboning]

That is a stretch, at best. At worst, it's attempting to take credit for something you haven't done.

No, from now on, unless you can contribute effectively, you're going to be under a strict regimen.

[codere]

A strict regimen? [ What is he going on about now?? ]

Explain yourself, Archer.

[swordboning]

Until you find out how to do things that are useful for myself and you, I'll be making up your daily schedule.

[codere]

[ Whew. ] For a moment there, I almost took you seriously. What a mean Halloween prank to play on someone!