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[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

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[deathbysnusnu]

[swordboning]

[Sees Gilgamesh.

Promptly ignores.

Rin, on the other hand...]

action

[projections]

[Shirou has no idea where Archer might be hiding. He's probably in spirit form somewhere.]

Archer!

[Have this loser yelling out Archer's name loudly.]

[swordboning]

[Being an archer, he typically kept himself on top of the building Rin lived in. All he wanted was a nice day and then there was this idiot.

The joys of being a spirit was that he could hate himself and spite Shirou at the same time by just not answering. Hell, he even refused to look at Shirou, even though the moron would never notice.]

[projections]

[Is he going to the wrong places? Shirou starts to second guess himself.]

Archer. [This is getting stupid.]

I need to ask you a question. [He might as well state his business first.]

[swordboning]

Well stop stammering about it and ask it.

[Not being polite enough to be visible yet. Archer just leaves it as a disembodied voice.]

[projections]

I'll be blunt then.

Can you stop fighting with me for a while? I'm not asking you this for my sake. It's for Sakura. [He already knows this is asking for too much.]

[swordboning]

Why should I care anymore about her than I should you?

[projections]

If we trouble Sakura too much Rider won't tolerate it. You'll get more enemies and give yourself more headaches.

I'd like to avoid that situation as much as possible.

[swordboning]

If you're attempting weak logic, I'll give you more in return. Sakura would never allow Rider to put someone who looks like her own sister in harm's way. Which is what would happen if Rider would decide to go rogue in such a manner.

[projections]

[Damn, what will it take to get through to Archer? yfw Shirou can't talk back.]

Please Archer, I'm begging you. [Does he have to bow? He's bowing.] It's not fair if I ask for something unreasonable and there's nothing in it for you.

It can't be helped. I'll do anything you say if you listen to me once.

[swordboning]

Anything?

[He was already going to give Shirou what he wanted but there was no way he was going to pass this up.]

[projections]

Anything.

[Shirou narrows his eyes a bit like don't get any weird ideas Archer.]

Tell me what you want.

[swordboning]

Take care of Rin. Household chores, cooking, cleaning; you know the drill.

[They're the same person. But he essentially means be a slave.]

Two weeks of it.

[projections]

You've got yourself a deal.

[This is surprisingly reasonable. Oh well. If it's only two weeks Shirou doesn't mind doing that at all. ]

[swordboning]

Fine. And send Sakura my apologies.

[projections]

I'll do that. [Shirou waves once this conversation is over.]

Oh, I forgot something. [He forgot to say hi and thanks.]

Good afternoon, Archer. I must have caught you at a bad time. You still came out to speak with me anyways......Thanks. [There was no real need for Archer to come out in the first place okok.]

[swordboning]

[Wow, what an asshole. Way to make things 20x worse, he's going to get you back for that last line.]

ACTION // halloween.exe do not DAT ASS it isn't worth it

[codere]

[ It's late at night do you know where your tsundere is???

She takes long showers. Unnecessarily long showers. In fact, she wastes a lot of water and the bathroom takes forever to empty itself of steam. This is one of those nights except after two hours, there's a series of loud thuds coming from the door. It lasts for about fifteen seconds the first time.

The second is about ten.

The third is five and follows with her screeching his name. ]

[swordboning]

[To be honest, Archer heard it the first time. He just chose to ignore it.

The second time, he started heading into the hallway. The third time, he waited by the door, hoping for Rin to break down and say something. Which she did.

He immediately replied after the first yell.]

What is it? I'm not going to dry you off and dress you, if that's what you want.

[codere]

That's not what I want at all! [ And if he's listening carefully, he can hear her complain under her breath: ]

I compliment your looks just once and you think I'm trying to seduce you.

Archer! This isn't funny, you know!

[swordboning]

[Don't even go there Rin, he's just assuming she's being super lazy!]

What isn't funny? I haven't said or done a single humorous thing.

[codere]

You locked the door! [ There's another thud and the indistinguishable sound of her body sliding to the floor against it. ]

Just let me out already!

[swordboning]

...if you have any other false accusations to make, I'll be on the couch.

[Slowly starts padding away...!!!]

[codere]

Archer! [ Her voice is distant now.

... she's clearly in the middle of the bathroom floor. ]

I'm going to die in here.