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[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

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[swordboning]

[Once he's done with this swab, he puts lotion on a second and starts again. Being properly moisturized is important.]

So you can feel that emotion? I'm surprised.

[codere]

Are you surprised?

Wait until you discover I can feel pity and empathy as well. [ Oh no, this actually feels good. Why. ]

[swordboning]

[Pulling it out! Non-lewdly, unlike a certain anime based on this shit.]

Roll over for me.

[Yep, ignoring that comment.]

[codere]

[ Rolling over right into his thigh. Oops. When she realizes what he meant, she rolls back around to face his stomach and to expose her other ear. ]

S-Sorry.

[swordboning]

...as a Master, you shouldn't be apologizing.

[Just so she knows. Especially while he's cleaning out her other ear. He'll both both sides of the q-tip again. Rin, please.]

[codere]

As a benevolent Master, I'll apologize when I make an error and you'll accept it because of my good nature.

[ So deal with it. ]

[swordboning]

If you're insistent.

[Puts on the lotion.

The second ear is getting top tier treatment here!]

You're not going to take advantage of this and not clean your ears ever, are you?

[Because she totally could and do this on a regular basis.]

[codere]

[ There's a sigh to express how content she is on it, but this is one of those things that will only happen once. ]

No, I'm afraid I've learned my lesson.

[swordboning]

Good. Punishments aren't something I like to hand out.

[If this could be considered a punishment. Maybe.]

[codere]

[ It is. The sweetest punishment ever. Killing her with kindness here. ]

You sure about that? You seem the type of man who'd find pleasure in that sort of twisted thing.

[swordboning]

You've got the wrong idea of me if you think I'm a sadist.

[He would secretly prefer to see people happy. There are just some things he can't abide, like Rin being dirty.]

[codere]

Then correct me, Archer. [ She taunts him while she's in a compromised position. ]

Tell me what you are.

[swordboning]

Your Servant. And possibly other things depending on how you feel about it.

[codere]

I meant about your personality. I know you're my Servant and sometimes you're possibly other things.

[ Continues to skirt around just what he is to her. ] So if you're not a sadist, you are-?

[swordboning]

A nihilist would be the best word for it.

[Bang smack on.]

[codere]

Even when we're together like this you believe yourself to be a nihilist? I wonder if I should find offense in that or not.

[ Poking at his stomach abs. ]

[swordboning]

I'll admit that you're somewhat of an exception but that doesn't change the overall situation.

[Yep, his muscles don't yield. Nor is he ticklish. SO SAD.]

[codere]

Somewhat of an exception I can take. [ Once she's sure she won't end up with a stick jammed in her ear, she leans in to kiss his stomach. ]

There's a lot we don't know about this world. I intend to uncover it, to find out why we've been brought here, but until then... I suppose I understand where you're coming from. This all very well may be useless.

[swordboning]

There isn't a lot we don't know but I do have something I'd like to say.

[codere]

I'll hear it. [ Smiling. ]

Now that you've cleaned my ears out, I have no excuse.

[swordboning]

If we're ever forced to return home, summon me. If you need a catalyst, look up your "granny Sakura's" sister and find her most precious jewel.

[codere]

Summon you? I wouldn't even know how to do anything of that sort. With the world's mana dried up, is it even possible for me to--no, you're right. I'll call for you.

[ Admitting that she can't will never happen. ] A precious jewel is all it takes to call you? That seems sentimental for you.

[swordboning]

If you get amazingly desperate, you can enact a way to attempt to destroy humanity and I'll appear in that situation too.

[The World would definitely find it ironic to send him, which meant it would happen.]

[codere]

[ Rolling over onto her back to stare up at the ceiling with that. Destroy humanity? She's given so much in order to protect it and then he asks her something like that. ]

You'd be called to kill me at that point, correct?

[swordboning]

Certainly but you're a bright person. You'd find a way to bind me to you in that situation. And then you'd reveal it was a ruse all along and you had no intention of doing such a thing.