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[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

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TEXT

[swordboning]

You'll end up patting yourself on the back in the end so enjoy it.

[codere]

Why do you think I would do that ?!
It isn't in the spirit of Christmas or whatever it's called to behave that way.
This is a selfless holiday, you idiot !!

[swordboning]

Have you celebrated Christmas before? This is a serious question since I don't quite know these kinds of details about your past.

[In case she thought it was sarcasm. Text isn't awesome at that.]

[codere]

I don't remember.
I might have when I was a little girl, but who remembers their childhood ??

[swordboning]

If it helps, I certainly don't.

But the point of Christmas is the feeling you get when giving gifts. Especially the one where someone opens your gift. So patting yourself on the back is a perfectly legitimate reaction to giving someone a good gift. Does that make sense?

[codere]

[ No, it doesn't help at all. What's so great about being depressed?! ]

Fine.
I'll give this idiot all the things on his wish list.
Of course I'll need your help.
Your gear is superior to the things I could find in the store.

[swordboning]

...a certain idiot, huh? Why do I have yet another bad feeling about this.

[codere]

You only have yourself to blame for signing me up for this sort of thing.
I suppose it's not much of a secret if I go around telling people, but I'll need your help.
Saber's aid as well is to be expected.

[swordboning]

Just tell me what I need to do so I can get it done ahead of time. And I'd like it if you visited me personally at some point.

[codere]

His list consists of a) training equipment b) a tale of true love and c) deep and heartfelt music.
I can handle the last part.
I have an idea that won't involve you.
That's why I need Saber.

Do you want me to visit now ??

[swordboning]

That leaves the first part for me, unless you'd rather me sing a song about our story.

And yes. I'm out where I cook food.

[codere]

OK.

[ It takes her a few minutes to get dressed and to head on out there. Hopefully he didn't grow bored in the meantime.

Also dressing a bit more presentable than usual. IS SHE TRYING TO DRESS NICE FOR HIM?? ]

I want hot chocolate. [ And this is how she greets him. ]

[swordboning]

Of course you do. Do you prefer large marshmallows or small ones?

[Pulling out some mix he made personally. There is someone who orders this stuff on a frequent basis.]

[codere]

Small ones. [ Gives the most shocking answer of all time. ]

With little bits of peppermint chocolate sprinkled on top. Oh, and a chocolate dipped candy cane stick to stir it with.

[swordboning]

[That's a lot to ask for but fine.]

Alright. But if you want all that, I ask for one thing in return. If you give me that, I won't charge a thing.

[codere]

You weren't going to charge me anyway. [ She points out the obvious fault before hoisting herself to sit on the counter. ]

What is it? Normally you just ask outright.

[swordboning]

I want a kiss on the cheek. Right here in public.

[codere]

What kind of man has to ask for a kiss without just taking it for himself? Geez.

[swordboning]

I could at any point but this is about you.

[codere]

Are you claiming that my affection for you has been inadequate up until now? I'm shocked.

[swordboning]

No. I'm saying you tend to be more reserved in public.

[codere]

It's because I don't want to embarrass Saber or yourself. Since people have started to associate the three of us together, that means whatever actions I take will reflect on you both.

If you want a kiss, I'll kill you. I could just pull you in close and make out with you right here, right now if you really wanted to get down to it.

[ WHO CARES ABOUT HEALTH CODES. ]

[swordboning]

If you do, that's fine. But something tells me you won't.

[CHALLENGE.]

[codere]

You're so indecent wanting to do these things in public, but fine! I'll whore my body out for a mug of hot chocolate, but it better be the best hot chocolate ever!

Or I'll kill you.

[swordboning]

...I'd be a bit more satisfied if you worded that better. You already said you were getting it for free anyway.