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[swordboning]

...you've reached Archer. Leave a message and if it's suitable, I'll get back to you.

Comments

[swordboning]

What do you even want me to do? If it's locked, that's your issue, not mine. If I have to break the door, that's money that we have to pay in reparations.

[Come on, Rin. Budgets have to be balanced.]

[codere]

As my Servant, my issues may as well be yours. [ Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. ]

Why did I leave my boots out there?

[swordboning]

You're the one who...

[Wow, a pause here. Mostly because something just opened up in front of Archer.]

...I wonder what this is.

[codere]

It's me being stuck in the bathroom is what it is!

[ Why hasn't he figured that out yet?! She kicks the door this time with both of her feet for emphasis. ]

I'm never taking a shower again!

[swordboning]

[Ignoring intensely!!!]

...I see. If I can score 50,000 points, it'll unlock the door.

[Sigh.]

Sorry, Rin, but I hate video games.

[codere]

Whaaaaaat?!

[ Is that the sound of her entire body slamming into the door? ]

Fifty-thousand points to unlock the door? I'm worth at least one-hundred fifty-thousand!

[swordboning]

To put this in terms you'd understand, fifty-thousand points unlocks the door. one-hundred thousand would gain your respect and I assume one-hundred and fifty-thousand would mean something more intimate.

[codere]

You're not unlocking that door of mine! Off-limits! Out of bounds!

That sector is denied to you, Archer! [ And that's the sound of her throwing her fists into the ground.

He's missing a quality temper tantrum here. ]

[swordboning]

[And he's glad for literally every moment of it.]

Good because I never planned on it. As a matter of fact, I don't plan on playing this game.

[That would require an order! Not the command spell version but one nonetheless.]

[codere]

Then I'll start by flooding the bathroom. [ She threatens out loud. ]

Once the bathroom is full of water, it'll start to leak out everywhere else. The damage will take you weeks to clean up.

[swordboning]

And you'll have to get a job.

[A beat.]

Don't say you won't because I'll make sure you pay for every cent.

[codere]

No way. I'll be dead.

If I'm flooding the bathroom, that means I'll drown. Stupid. Don't you know anything?

[ THUD! goes her head against the door. ] Archer, your craft is to create any weapon right? If you rip this door off the handle and swing it, doesn't it become a weapon?

So you can just make a new one! [ That's not how it works. ]

[swordboning]

[Absolutely dumb.]

I hate to destroy your well thought plans but I get the feeling that any method other than playing this game will fail. That's the kind of things they do there.

[codere]

So what? You beat the game, your princess is in another tower?

I wouldn't like that if I was suddenly in another bathroom.

Especially since I left all my clothes out there. [ They're at his feet.

... they're a mess.

Everything about this is a mess. ]

[swordboning]

You're more than aware of what would happen. The instructions are fairly clear either way.

[Beeps and boops as he pokes around at the game.]

[codere]

Ohhhh are you actually playing it now, Archer?

[ Her shadow peeks from underneath the door as she rests against it. ]

Hey Archer, what kind of game is it? Is it a fun game?

Are you having fun?

I want to play.

Can you lock yourself in the bathroom after?

[swordboning]

No, I'm not playing. No, I'm not having fun. And no, I'm not locking myself in.

[He's playing. Not having fun though.]

[codere]

Come on, Archer. I bet I can get you out quicker before you can get me out.

[ Is she clawing at the door? Yes, yes she is. ]

It's so hoooooooot in here. I'm suffocating.

[swordboning]

Of course you would be able to. You probably have the distinct advantage of being able to read this program's structure and composition, giving you a path to victory. Someone like me would have to rely on instincts and physical skill.

[A rare compliment while Rin is naked in the shower.]

[codere]

Are you trying to hit on me while I'm in despair? I already told you that we're not having sex.

[ For further emphasis, she screams again, this time the howl lasting at least fifteen seconds. ]

[swordboning]

[When she's done....]

In your experience, we've done that already. Despite that, I have no interest in you or your body in that fashion so put it out of your mind.

[Maybe he prefers people who look like Saber??????]

And keep quiet, I'm trying to concentrate.

[codere]

Yeah and what if you promised to do me the next time? You technically owe me one.

[ He does Not but she's angry enough to lie about it. There's no honor when one's trapped in the bathroom. ]

[swordboning]

Are you trying to be the queen of mixed messages? On one hand, you say no. On the other, you act like it's owed to you.

[His previous statement doesn't change at all, though.


...for now.]

[codere]

Don't be the type of guy who gives something because it's owed. [ KICK! ]

How far along are you?

[swordboning]

Is this the part where you wish for me to be truly in love?

[lol]

Give me a few more minutes.

[He's hovering at about 45,000 but he doesn't think he'll open the door at 50k.]